Shared care in Australia often means changeover on a Friday, Saturday morning sport and school holidays split down the middle. None of that stops you dating. It just means a bit of planning goes a long way. Work through this checklist and you will skip most of the frustrating part.
I know which weekends are mine
Grab the calendar on the fridge and mark the next two months: your weekends, their weekends, the school holidays and Christmas, which are often shared in a different pattern. Then strike out the commitments that eat into free time, like footy, netball, Nippers or swimming lessons. The weekends left over are when you can realistically see someone.
I am matching with people who are free when I am
Lining up two shared-care calendars by text message is painful. In PAM, the Custody Schedule does it for you: enter the kids' pattern once and you see how much free time you share with each person before you say hello. PAM Match adds 17 dimensions of compatibility, so it is not just a swipe on a photo.
My profile mentions the kids, not their faces
"Two kids, 6 and 11, both mad about cricket" is plenty. No photos of them, no names, no school logo.
The first catch-up is public and short
A coffee near the beach, a walk around the lake, brunch on a free Sunday. Somewhere with people around, your own way home, and a mate who knows where you are.
The kids meet them later, and their other parent hears it from me
Give it a few months and at least one proper disagreement first. Then a short, casual meeting, a playground or fish and chips, rather than a night at home. Let your ex know before the kids mention it at changeover.
I know what to do if arrangements need to change
Seeing someone new does not on its own change a parenting plan or orders. If you need changes and cannot agree, the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia explains that you generally have to attempt family dispute resolution, and obtain a certificate, before filing for parenting orders, unless an exemption applies, such as family violence or urgency. The Family Relationship Advice Line on 1800 050 321 can refer you to local services.
Where PAM fits in Australia
PAM is available in Australia on the App Store and Google Play, in English. Next to dating you get FacePAM, to spot single parents nearby when you are out for a set time, Outings to organise family days, Helping Hand for swapping favours like school pick-ups, and The Circle for chats by topic. All profiles are checked with a selfie. Honest heads-up: PAM is new here, so the Aussie community is small for now and grows with every parent who signs up.
Get PAM →Common questions
- Which dating app suits single parents in Australia?
- PAM is made for shared care: you enter the kids' pattern once and it shows how much free time you share with each person, plus 17-dimension compatibility, FacePAM and help between parents. It is on iPhone and Android in Australia.
- Is family dispute resolution required before going to court over parenting?
- Generally yes. The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia requires a family dispute resolution certificate before you file for parenting orders, unless an exemption such as family violence or urgency applies.
- Does seeing someone new change our parenting orders?
- No, not on its own. Plans and orders stay in place unless you both agree to change them or a court makes new orders.
- How soon should my kids meet a new partner?
- After a few months and at least one real disagreement. Start with a short, casual outing rather than a night at home.